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COMRIGHT DEPOSm 



THE NEW 



Swiss Family Robinson. 



A TALE FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES. 



BY 

OWEN WISTER. 



ILLUSTRATED BY F. NICHOLS. 



New York 

DUFFIELD & COMPANY 

1922 



Copyright, 1SS2, 

By Charles W. Sevir. 

Copyright 1922, by 

DUFFIELD & COMPANY 



■©CI.A677259 



Printed in the United States of America 



JUN 23 1922 






CONTENTS 



CHAPTER I. 

Pacp 

Tiif. Wreck. — The Arrivai 7 

CHAPTER II. 
Our Haven. — A Curious Animal. — A Tropical Picnic 9 

CHAPTER III. 

An Exploring Expedition. — A Tiger. — Franz's Accident. — Strange Habits of the 

Monkeys 11 

CHAPTER IV. 
Our proposed New Abode. — The Iguana. — The Boilstone 14 

CHAPTER V. 
We build our House. — The Zebra. — A Sail 16 

CHAPTER VI. 
The Arrival. — Our Visitors. — The Anaconda 19 

CHAPTER VII. 
For Better or for Worse 22 



LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 



Page 

Heading Ashore from the Wreck 7 

Initial 9 

The Female Peccadillo . 9 

Effect of the Mint-Julep Bed 10 

Initial 11 

"Time !" 12 

The Holly Tree 13 

"Gentlemen, the Judges have decided!" 13 

Initlal 14 

Our Future Home 14 

Hunting the Icuana ! .... 15 

"Boilstone" 16 

Initial 16 

The Family Tree 18 

" Taming a Jackass "..-.... j 9 

Initial Ig 

The Foreign Visitors .20 

Miss Hap with the Anaconda 22 

Initial 22 

The Wedding 2 , 

Marked Attentions of the Marquis 24 



Preface to New Edition 

This tile has been excavated from the remains of a prehistoric Harvard by 
an optimist in the publishing line. Fortunately it was in good condition, its hiero- 
glyphs clear and decipherable. 

Written forty years ago, thirty-nine years ago was the last time that the 
author looked at it, until the other day when the publisher brought it to him. 
'He read it without a smile ; and in its day, in the Harvard Lampoon, it split no 
sides, showing but dully beside its shining predecessors, The Little Tin Gods on 
Wheels, and Rollo's Visit to Cambridge. 

"Then why unearth it?" I can already hear the gloomy critic ask. 

My dear Sir, my very dear Sir, this book is no laughing matter. Have you 
never inspected ancient tiles? Do you not know what immense reconstructive 
value to scholars the laundry bills of Rameses and Nebuchednezzar possess to-day? 
The clay record of a Pharaoh's dirty linen may have not seemed funny to his 
washerwoman, but at the British Museum archaeologists will cluster round it 
like bees and ingeniously gather from it the manners and customs of its extinct 
day. 

So this tile out of Ancient Harvard. It will disclose the existence of the 
book of which it is the parody. The original Swiss Family Robinson was written 
to make children good. Its inveterate pointing of a moral at every page, nearly 
in every paragraph, may have been as sweet as condensed milk to Swiss children, 
but American children usually made faces when obliged to take doses of it. 

The hieroglyphs on the tile disclose also much of the undergraduate life of 
the time. For example, in the face of the female peccadillo, the archaeological 
expert will instantly read the features and expression of a goddess terrible to 
undergraduates who had anything on their conscience. She sat in U. 5, and 
signed ominous cards of summons. The words Julepa Attwoodiana hold their 
melancholy reminder of mint juleps at Attwood's bar in Tremont Street. At 
that place of our young delight the "Silver Fizz" bloomed in a perfection worthy 
of the gods. The holly tree whence eggs were dropped by the sad faced ape needs 
very little deciphering. We who had lingered late in Boston, and consequently 
late in bed, always got our breakfasts there. An athletic meeting in the Gym- 
nasium is plainly to be discerned elsewhere upon the tile, and the well built 
gorilla who announced the winner of each event was no other than Evert 
Wendell, the Author's old and dear friend. 

Dear me, no, this tile is no laughing matter, my good critic! Put it away 
gently on the shelves of the buried past. 

Philadelphia, January 25, 1922. Owen Wister. 




THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 

A TALE FOR CHILDREN OF ALL AGES. 



PREFATORY NOTE. 

IN re-editing this old favorite, the author feels that 
the pleasure he has in giving it to the public will 
be exceeded only by the pleasure the public will take 
in giving it to him after they have read it. 

Little more need be said. 

With thanks for the many kind hints the author 
has received from various quarters, earnestly entreat- 
ing him to discontinue his labors, hints which have 
been prompted, the author feels, rather by an anxiety 
for his health than by an interest in the book, he 
begs leave to hope that it will profit him as much as 
it will profit the public, in whose hands he now con- 
fidingly places it. 

POTTERSHAM CENTRE, Feb., 18S2. 



CHAPTER I. 

THE WRECK. — THE ARRIVAL. 

The storm had raged for days and days. Oh ! it 
was an awful storm, and one which is seldom met 
with except near the line. 

My children were beginning to complain of a swim- 



ming of the head, accompanied by yawning and 
nausea. I told them that this was a common form 
of disease, especially on the water, and added", " It is 
profitable for you to see how such trials may be borne 
by those who wish to bear them." 

And taking an oyster, which I had previpusly cov- 
ered with fine sifted sugar, I swallowed it with a 
courageous smile. Abashed at once by my example, 
my dear children continued their innocent play, heed- 
less of the reckless oaths which the cruel se"amen 
uttered in their fear. My beloved wife was in the 
ladies' cabin, reading the Pilgrim's Progress, which 
did not seem to do her very much good. The waves 
were running mountains high, and we were continu- 
ally in the trough of the boisterous sea. Amid this 
truly sublime, but at the same time terrible war of the 
elements, I heard the cry of " Land ! land ! " and at 
once we landed upon a rock. Then arose a hideous 
scene of distress. Thousands of human souls were 
washed overboard in a moment. Many lost their 
lives. Some lost their senses. Piercing shrieks rent 
the startled air. Even the quiet cattle stopped chew- 
ing their cud. My wife rushed into my arms, let- 
ting the Pilgrim's Progress fall neglected upon the 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



wet deck.* Around her skirts, wailing, clung our 
children. We were an affecting spectacle, — one that 
would make many a thoughtful parent shed tears. 

While we were thus busily occupied, my son 
Franz, who is ever on the alert, looked out over the 
main and saw that the treacherous crew had got 
away in the life-boat, and never so much as given us 
warning. In vain we called to them to come back, 
that they had dropped something. The heartless 
men only jeered at us in their cruel sport, as they 
rowed further away, and were lost amid the mist and 
hubbub. Then indeed we felt left. 

Suddenly my thoughtful Ernest said, " Papa, why 
should we not try and contrive some means of getting 
ashore?" 

I praised the lad heartily for his ingenuity, and we 
began at once. But ere we did this we unlocked the 
poor animals, who came bounding about us in their 
simple joy. There were five cows, eighteen sheep, 
two horses, and a terrier called Tim. We little 
thought then how invaluable Tim would be in days 
to come. 

I then bade each of my children see what treasures 
they could secure. They soon returned, and my 
heart bounded as I saw how fully we should be pre- 
pared for any emergency. Little Franz brought a 
steel watch-chain and a bird-cage. As he truly re- 
marked, we might find birds in the bushes. Fritz 
brought an Oliver Ditson edition of " The Pirates of 
Penzance." Jack found a pair of snow-shoes, and 
a time-table of the Boston and Albany Railroad. 
Ernest brought a Japanese parasol and a photograph 
of the Greek play. 

But my dear wife found the chief treasures. She 
came triumphant, with a little air-pistol, and a box of 
darts made expressly for it. We felt truly thankful 
for this discovery, since what had hitherto been but 
a pretty toy was now to become our defence against 
bears and lions. My wife also found a set of strange 
but beautiful dresses, of all colors, made of the light- 
est gauze, and very short. She laughed gayly as she 
approached me holding them up. 

"You would not laugh so much," said I, "if you 
realized the importance of your discovery " 

She became serious, and I explained that, besides 
being a light and suitable apparel for the tropical 
climate, should we ever reach the shore, it was an ex- 
cellent suit for her to wear at once, as it would not 
incommode her motions at all in our journey to the 
land. She joyfully thanked me and hastened to her 
cabin. 

" I wonder what they are meant for ? " I mused. 

"I think, sir, I have seen something like them 

* This carelessness may be pardoned at such a moment. 



before, sir," said my eldest son Fritz, a bright lad of 
fifteen years. 

" Where ? " inquired I, rather sharply. 

" 1 forget now, sir, but I will try to think," replied 
the boy. 

In the mean time I had found many treasures my- 
self; among others six water-velocipedes. These 
had been destined for trading with the natives of the 
Friendly Islands. 

" Why, father," inquired my little Franz, laughing, 
" what would savages do with those ? " 

"If you would think more and talk less," said I 
gravely, " you would probably not ask so many fool- 
ish questions." 

But as the little fellow already hung his head and 
was making ready to cry at my rebuke, I kindly ex- 
plained to him that the natives of the Friendly 
Islands are so very friendly that they are constantly 
calling on each other and staying to tea. And in 
these visits from island to island, water-velocipedes 
would be both simple and satisfactory. Hardly had 
I finished my explanation when a strange sound was 
heard, and, quickly looking up, I perceived my dear 
wife, gayly attired in a pink gauze dress covered 
with silver spangles, approaching with many graceful 
bounds. 

My children clung around me and shed tears of 
unfeigned joy at having such a mother. Then we 
joined hands fervently, and moved in a sad circle 
about her, as she, poised on one foot, turned round 
on the other, in order to be able to follow our move- 
ments. Then came a lurch and a crash. 

My son Jack, with his usual keen observation, said, 
"Father, I think something broke." 

I patted him gently on the head, and told him that 
he was probably right. 

"How shall we go ashore?" asked Ernest. 

" I wish we were natives of the Friendly Islands ! " 
cried Fritz. 

" My son, you have hit upon a capital idea," I re- 
plied. " Run and bring those velocipedes at once." 

I packed our cargo in a number of large hencoops. 
Behind these I tied the patient animals, who lowed 
intelligently. 

" Moo ! moo ! you old cows ! " said Fritz, thought- 
lessly. 

I chid the boy for mocking at dumb animals, and 
then bade my wife mount the first velocipede. This 
she did, displaying much agility. 

She exclaimed, " I have left my bag behind ! " 

" What is your bag? " I asked. 

" It is what I keep a few necessaries in," she an- 
swered, as Ernest found it and tossed it skilfully 
over her head, so that it hung down behind and made 
a graceful and convenient ornament. 



OUR HAVEN. — A CURIOUS ANIMAL. 



My wife then threw forward one of her feet, and 
kicked a hole in the gunwale, through which she 
rode into the water. My children shouted with de- 
light, and eagerly followed her on their velocipedes, 
though I reminded them that we were saving our 
lives, and were not on an excursion for pleasure. 
Thus we made our journey. 

First came my dear, brave wife, attired in the gay 
dress she had found. Then our youngest son Franz, 
a tender bud of seven; next him, Jack, bold, fearless, 
but rash at times ; next Ernest, a boy of twelve, 
thoughtful but indolent; after him my first-born, 
Fritz, a sturdy lad of fifteen, armed with the air-pistol. 
Finally I myself, the anxious, loving father, steering 
behind them all, with a rubber belt tied round my 
waist, to which were fastened, by a long string, the 
hencoops and animals. 

The perilous way was accomplished, we turned the 
rocky corner, and landed on a pleasant triangular 
piece of sward, overhung by a frowning pile of archi- 
tectural rock, which I said should be called Memorial, 
as a monument to our safe return to terra fir?na. 




CHAPTER II. 

OUR HAVEN. — A CURIOUS ANIMAL. — A TROPICAL PICNIC. 

RRIVED on land at 
last, we felt that we 
had been through a 
good deal. Fritz re- 
marked that he would 
'. not go through so 
much again for any- 
' thing. 

I told him that I 
disapproved of his 
hasty speech, and 
that he would cer- 
tainly go through it again, were he placed in a similar 
situation. 

We now began to look about. Our position for 
the present was safe, but unsatisfactory, as the sun, 
which is very hot in the tropics, poured down upon 
our heads. 

" I wish the old sun would go out, and not shine 
so," said Franz pettishly. 

" My son, you have made a very wicked speech," 
I replied, "and if we find bread and water on the 
island, you shall be fed upon it for several days." 

Franz hung his head, and endeavored to hide 
behind the skirts of his mother. But finding that 
she wore none that came sufficiently near the ground 
(he was but a little fellow) he contented himself with 



getting in the rear of the party. The mention of 
bread and water reminded all of us that we were 
hungry. 

" Let us get in the shade yonder," said my wife, 
" and I will see what I can do for dinner." 

We thanked her for her kind promise, and pro- 
ceeded over the grass to the other side of the huge 
rock I had christened Memorial. Here we found a 




THE FEMALE PECCADILLO. 

cool stream that ran down a bank out of a beautiful 
forest. In the forest we could see many trees. As I 
was observing them, a loud shriek from Jack made us 
all start. 

" Do you see anything?" I asked anxiously, as I 
loaded the air-pistol. I was answered by furious 
barks from Tim ; and following the sound, I saw the 
cause of my son's fear was no less than a fine speci- 
men of the female Peccadillo. 

I bade them have no fear. 

" The Peccadillo, or Flagitium fiarvuhtm" I con- 
tinued, "lives in climates where it is extremely hot, 
or extremely cold. We find it also where it is nei- 
ther the one nor the other. It is peculiarly adapted 
to endure life in the open air, but can frequent houses, 
trees, and holes in the ground at will. It is a verte- 
brate animal and belongs to the Mammalia. It is 
most vulnerable in its head, which if you cut in half 
with a sharp blow from an axe, death will follow 
almost invariably. This weakness of the head is 
admirably protected by the animal's tail, branching 
into five or six strands of well-articulated joints, con- 
nected by a membrane similar to that we find in the 
wing of the Bat. In severe weather of any kind, it 
spreads this tail over its head, and fearlessly proceeds 
on its way. 

" The Peccadillo lays a large and handsome egg, 
of a delicate pink color, spotted with chocolate. 
When the egg has been laid, the female Peccadillo 
calls the male Peccadillo, who sits heavily upon the 
egg, which breaks immediately, and the young Pec- 



IO 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 




EFFECT OF THE MINT-JULEP BED. 



cadillo runs out with shrill cries. This animal is harm- 
less, except when it attacks you. Then it becomes 
very dangerous. Its flesh is, when cooked, tender and 
savory, and will make a capital dinner for us today." 

As I concluded, my wife took a large axe out of 
her bag, and the Peccadillo was soon roasting over a 
good fire. My son Ernest, picking an oyster-shell 
out of the sand, cut off a dainty slice for himself, and, 
smiling complacently, set it aside to cool. 

" Prudence," I observed quietly, "is a quality that 
should be exercised for others as well as for ourselves. 
You may give that slice of Peccadillo to me, Ernest." 

The boy winced as I slowly swallowed the morsel. 
So did I. 

When I had finished, I continued, " Do not for a 
moment suppose that I enjoyed that Peccadillo. 
On the contrary, it gave me great pain to eat it." 

Ernest, whose irritable temper had always been a 
care and a grief to me, said, " That is probably be- 
cause the flesh was^not cooled sufficiently." 

As he placed himself in such a position that the 
fire and the running stream were between us, I con- 
tented myself with a reproachful look, that soon melted 
the boy. He lay down upon the grassy bank and 
sobbed silently. 

All the rest, in the mean while, were busily getting 
dinner ready. " What shall we do for a table-cloth, 
father? " asked Fritz, whose neatness was one of his 
most amiable characteristics. 



"Your intelligent question," I replied, "has puz- 
zled me not a little." 

A loud roar, and a scream from my wife brought 
us all on our feet. " Help me ! " she entreated, " I 
have put my foot in it." 

I approached her cautiously, and observed some- 
thing rustling along in the grass. The air-pistol 
was ready to hand. I fired at the noise, and a sec- 
ond loud roar rent the air. Then all was still. I 
bent over my victim, and discovered a huge creature 
lying dead upon its back. I recognized a terrible 
Bogino furhsns, or Cannibal Spider, in whose web 
my wife had been caught. We embraced each other 
thankfully. A moment more, and I should have been 
too late. " But now, Fritz." I said smiling, " here is 
a table-cloth for you." And carefully lifting the web 
of the Furiosus from the long grass, I displayed it, to 
the delight of all. It made indeed a sumptuous orna- 
ment ; as the wild insect displays great taste in fash- 
ioning its odd home, and weaves ferns and oak-leaves 
into the rich texture. 

" How about forks and knives ? " inquired Jack. 

My dear wife smiled mysteriously, and drew a com- 
plete set from the bag. They had belonged to the 
captain of the lost crew. 

" We shall do very well," said I. And we did very 
well indeed. We moved the table-cloth up on the 



soft green 
upon it. 



bank, and set the roasted Peccadillo 



A TROPICAL PLANT. — AN EXPLORING EXPEDITION 



" What is this strange and aromatic odor ? " asked 
my wife. 

I immediately picked a plant which grew plente- 
ously on the bank, and observed it. A clear pungent 
liquid flowed from the broken stalk, and I recognized 
a bed of that delicious herb the Julepa Attwoodiana. 
"It is mint, — tropical mint!" — I joyfully cried, 
" and its sap is sweet and strong." 

" Are you sure that it is not poisonous ? " my brave 
wife asked anxiously. 

" It is perfectly safe, my dear, though I laud your 
prudence. Let us all take some ; it will refresh us." 
We felt very thankful at this discovery, and the flesh 
of the Peccadillo improved our spirits wonderfully. 

" I am feeling very well, father," said Fritz, breaking 
off another stalk of the Julepa Attwoodiana. 

" So am I," said little Franz. 

" Itsh perfectly right that you should, my dear shil- 
drensh," I said gayly ; and they laughed merrily. 

" Nother thing about the Pec . . . the Pec '. . ." 

"... adillo do you mean, father ? " 

" Yesh. Itsh feet are very thin-skinned. So in 
damp weather the long hair that growsh on top of 
them' closes round underneath his sholesh, and thush 
they don't get wet." 

"Father, why are there two suns in the sky?" 
asked Ernest. 

" Three," said Fritz correcting him. 

I explained that this was one of the commonest 
phenomena in the tropics, and that we often can see 
many more. As we had now finished dinner, fortune 
did not seem to frown so harshly upon us, and a joy- 
ful hilarity pervaded us all as we sat upon this desert 
isle. My dear wife, with a graceful movement, sprang 
from her seat and spread the parasol. As a balmy 
breeze was blowing from the forest, it served her as a 
parachute, and she floated lightly up into a great 
"banyan-tree that stood at the edge of the forest. I 
was anxious for her safety, and beckoned her to come 
down ; but she smiled kindly at me, and refused. In 
the mean while little Franz got the bird-cage he had 
brought ashore, and, putting his head in through the 
door, cried merrily, " I 've eaten the canary! " 

I was glad to see my dear children enjoying them- 
selves, so I made a collar out of the Boston and 
Albany time table, and putting it on, joined in the 
dance. Fritz and Ernest, linked together by the steel 
watch-chain, opened the Oliver Ditson edition of the 
" Pirates of Penzance," and sang duets with their 
sweet young voices ; while Jack, determined that he 
should not be beaten, grasped the dog Tim, and, hold- 
ing him like an organ, turned his tail round and 
round very ingeniously. This constituted our simple 
orchestra, and we were very happy. By and by the 
sun set, and we went to repose. 




CHAPTER III. 



AN EXPLORING EXPEDITION — A TIGER. — FRANZ S ACCI- 
DENT. — STRANGE HABITS OF THE MONKEYS. 



HE next day when we 
awoke the sun was 
already high in the 
heavens. My children 
complained that their 
hats were too small for 
them this morning, 
and Ernest assured 
me that his had shrunk 
at least three sizes. 

i^i " My dear children, 

this is theeffectof. . ." 
" The Julepa Attwoodiana, father ? " asked Fritz, 
with an expression of countenance I was at a loss to 
understand. 

" Not at all," I replied severely ; " what could that 
have to do with it? It is the effect of the tropical 
dew, which falls in large quantities as soon as the twi- 
light sets in." 

I then explained to them as well as I could the 
peculiar properties of tropical dew, which entertained 
them very much. 

" Indeed, father," said Ernest, " instruction and 
amusement go hand in hand for us." 

I was pleased with the spirit of contentment that 
prevailed among my children, and gave them a five- 
cent piece all round, begging them not to spend it. 
I also begged them to wear their hats patiently, say- 
ing that as the day wore on they would resume their 
natural size. 

My dear wife then proposed an exploring expedi- 
tion, to find out where we could best dwell. 

" No, no, mamma," said Jack, " let us rather rest in 
the shade, for we feel tired." 

"Indifference," I replied, "to the natural beauties 
of a strange place, is a vice that should at a'l times be 
restrained. - Your mamma, Jack, is no doubt as weary 
as you are ; but she is right, — we will proceed." 

"What are you doing, Franz?" I asked r.s we 
were starting. For the little fellow was trudging 
along, carrying Tim under his arm. 

" Why, father," he replied, " once you told me 
about a strong man, I think his name was Milo, and 
he had a tiny calf, and he used to carry it about every- 
where. It grew bigger and bigger, but still he car- 
ried it often, till at last he grew so strong that, when 
it was quite a great big ox, he could lift it as easily as 
ever. And so you see, if I take care of our wee Tim, 
perhaps he will grow to a great big mastiff, and I shall 
be ever so strong." 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



•/&!.MSr A 







' Time I " 



I smiled at the child's simplicity, and his funny ap- 
plication of the story of Milo of Crotona. But I bade 
him put the dog down, and then dived into the jungle, 
holding the air-pistol ready cocked in front of me. 
They followed me in procession, Tim and the other 
animals bringing up the rear. 

Suddenly a low roar sounded in the thicket, and 
the next moment we found ourselves in the presence 
of a tiger. 

"Do not fear, children," I said cheerfully; "no 
wild beast, however ferocious, can long resist the 
gize of the human eye. Let us all look at him." 

The sullen orb of the animal encountered my firm 
look. Abashed he turned towards my wife, who met 
him with a proud, well-bred stare. Each of my dear 
children were ready with opera-glasses and telescopes, 
which my brave wife produced from her wonderful 
bag without hesitation. But she and I had been 
enough for him. With a low howl of embarrassment 
the man-eating monster turned, and walked awkwardly 
away. It was a Princeton Tiger, No. One. 

We then proceeded with light hearts, occasionally 
relieving the monotony of the march with psalmody. 
While in the midst of a melody, a frightful discord 
stopped us short. 



" Shall I get the telescopes, father ? " said Fritz. 

" No, my son ; this is not a tiger," I replied, as I 
recognized, from description, the whirring song of the 
Singer. 

" There, in the tree, father," cried little Franz. 

"My child," I said, "this is indeed providential." 
And, taking a quick aim, I fired. The loud report of 
the air-pistol resounded through the forest, and the 
wild bird came fluttering down, slightly wounded. I 
showed them his perforated bill. 

" The singer," I continued, " is one of the newest 
discoveries among tropical birds. It is a sort of 
woodpecker, and bores to great depths. It is a neat 
bird, and with a rapid head movement will hemstitch 
its nest in a few moments, inserting the fibres of the 
cotton plant through the hole at the end of its bill as 
it sits in the crotch of some mighty bandanna-tree, 
and sings its merry song. If our good mother can 
train it, it will mend all our clothes for us." 

I was interrupted by a smash, and a scream from 
Franz. The little fellow had received :. severe blow 
on the head from something which had broken, and 
was running down his face in yellow streaks. 

" Where did it come from, my son ? " I asked 
anxiously. 



STRANGE HABITS OF THE MONKEYS. 



13 




'.V •■'•'.. if) 



THE HOLLY TREE. 



I was answered by a sharp knock on my own head, 
and -on looking up was met by another in my face. 

" It is egg ! it is egg ! " said Jack, holding his sides 
with laughter. 

1 opened my mouth to chide the boy for his bad 
manners, and was just in time to receive a fourth 
egg, which rendered me speechless with surprise. 
We then retired under my dear wife's parasol, and 
looked cautiously about. 

" Why, it 's in the tree' ! " said Fritz. 

I looked up and saw a tall tree with prickly leaves 
and red berries. On it were growing quantities of 
eggs. 1 recognized at once the Holly Tree, and on 
closer examination I perceived, hidden in the recesses 
of its branches, a large ape, with a sad, sad face. 
When any of us approached within reach, he imme- 
diately dropped two eggs. 

My dear wife, producing a mackerel net from her 
bag, took hold of one end. We spread this under the 
foliage of the Holly Tree, and the sad-looking ape 
dropped eggs amid the death-like stillness of the 
tropical noon. We breakfasted on the dropped eggs, 
and continued our march, feeling very happy at our 
discoveries. 

By this time we had got far into the forest, and, as 
we slowly journeyed along, we saw quantities of mon- 
keys hurrying from every side toward the same spot. 

"What are they doing, father ? " asked Ernest, 
who was a close observer of the habits of our dumb 
four-footed friends. 

" I do not quite know, my son," I replied. 

" Let 's run along with them.' cried Jack gleefully ; 
and soon we found ourselves in the strange race. 

Presently we ran up some rocks, at the top of which 
grew two trees, very close together. These seemed to 
be the only entrance to a thicket whose walls were 
made of closely interlaced creepers. The monkeys 
were squeezing by, in spite of the efforts of a larger 



monkey to prevent them. We squeezed in with the 
rest, and presently found ourselves seated on creepers 
that ran like swings between the trees. Everywhere, 
low and high, on the ground and in the branches, 
peered the quaint faces of the monkeys, and their 
noisy chatter sounded shrilly. Presently three larger 
apes stepped out and began to jump about some 
branches that were placed on the ground. They fol- 
lowed each other in succession, and one ape would 
try to outdo his fellow-apes in strange freaks ; now 
cleverly balancing on his fore legs, and throwing his 
hind legs around them, and so resuming his seat ; 
and now hanging by his tail, and jumping along like 
a grasshopper. 

" What are they trying to do, father ? " asked Franz. 

" Wait and see," I said, for I was at a loss for a 
reply. 

Presently a well-built gorilla stepped out from 
between the trees, and, after consulting a card, an- 
nounced that one of the monkeys had done better 
than the rest. 




"gentlemen, the judges have decided . . ." 

Many trials of skill then ensued. After a while 
two Nubian Howlers stepped out and began punching 
each other's heads. One Nubian Howler soon got 
the worst of it, and the well-built gorilla announced 
that the other had won. 

After a few more events, a small Blue Faced Teazcr 
and a Marmoset came tripping out, and the well-built 
gorilla said to the assembly, " This is Mr. Teazer, and 
this is Mr. Marmoset ; " upon which the animals im- 
mediately jumped on each other, and began to writhe 
round, seeing which could get the other on his back 
first. 

Much excitement ensued. Cries of " Good for 
Marmoset!" "Go it, Teazer !" resounded in all 
directions. My dear wife grew so excited that she 



H 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



jumped down and followed them about to judge of 
their movements, and see that the thing was done 
properly. I for my part, after enjoining my children 
to restrain themselves, stepped down, and, holding 
my open watch in my hand, called " Time ! " when a 
fall occurred. 

After three trials, the Blue Faced Teazer got two 
falls, and the well-built gorilla, stepping out, gave a 
large cocoanut to the .Marmoset, whereupon much 
apphuse ensued. By and by the night drew on, and 
the last and most exciting event came off. 

A train of eighty-two monkeys lay flat down on 
their backs, and each monkey coiled his tail around 
the throat of the monkey next in front of him. The 
front monkey took hold of the tail of the front monkey 
of £ second train, consisting of eighty-three monkeys 
lying opposite, and linked in the same ingenious man- 
ner. At a given word, the two front monkeys pulled 
each other's tails violently. There was a silence of 
four minutes, when the eighty-third and last monkey 
rose from his position with a loud shriek, and the 
eighty-two monkeys were-victorious. 

Much pleased with what they had seen, my dear 
children retired for the night, and I sat up and won- 
dered what would happen next. 



CHAPTER IV. 



OUR PROr-OSED NEW ABODE. — THE IGUANA. — THE BOIL- 
STONE. 




OME time after 
our interesting and 
instructive adven- 
ture with the mon- 
keys in the forest, 
my dear children 
earnestly begged 
me to give them 
an account of those 
animals, their hab- 
its and their pe- 
culiarities, which I 
gladly did. 

said my little 



\^h. 



" Father, you know everythin 
Franz. 

I hastened to assure the child that I did not know 
everything by any means, in which the rest of my be- 
loved family heartily agreed with me. I was pleased 
to see this pleasant spirit of unanimity in our little 
company, and we cheerily pursued our way through 
the forest. 

We found a great many useful and wholesome vege- 
tables, which we ate in large quantities, seating our- 



selves beneath the luxuriant shade of the bandanna 
.tree. The food we did not eat my brave wife put 
into her bag for pickles and preserves. 

Among other tropical fruits and vegetables, we 
found many acres of Yum-yums, and several fine 
specimens of Jym-Jams. The latter had always been 




OUR FUTURE HOME. 

a great favorite with us at home, where we had often 
had them. 

As we wandered along, culling a cocoanut here and 
a gourd there, we came into a rocky enclosure, quad- 
rilateral in shape. Many massive groups of rock 
stood all around it, forming the sides. Most of these 
were red, but one was white, and very beautiful. On 
it the centuries had written their records, which we 
read with interest. The blessing of Providence was 
bestowed on some one, but we could not make out 
who, for the rock was damp, and these great truths 
of nature indistinct therefore. In this enclosure grew 
many tall and beautiful trees ; one of these seemed to 
please my dear wife particularly. It was a beech-tree, 
growing in a slight depression of the ground, and lift- 
ing itself gracefully upwards. 

"O. if we could cease sleeping upon the cold 
ground, and live up there ! " said my wife. 

I laughed gayly at her pleasantry, but she said she 
meant it. 

" My dear ..." I began. 

" Do you not see," she continued eagerly, "an ele- 
phant cannot climb a tree ; nor can many other fierce 



HUNTING THE IGUANA. 



15 




"-■'■■ ■•"'" : -"%i'AiuiS>. 






HUNTING THE IGUANA. 



beasts, who would crush us if they trod upon us while 
we were sleeping on the ground. We should be safe 
from them at any rate. 

" If the tree is hollow, and will permit an inside 
staircase, 1 will consider the matter," I replied. 

I then bade Ernest test the tree, and see whether 
it were hollow. This he did with some ingenuity, 
knocking his head repeatedly against the gigantic 
trunk. A hollow sound was the immediate result. 

" Then we are saved ! " exclaimed my dear wife. 

" Are you sure, my son," I asked, " that it is the 
tree which is making this hollow sound, and not your 
head ? " 

The lad assured me with tears in his eyes that it 
was the tree ; so we continued our way, determining 
to return on the morrow and begin work. I marked 
the spot by tying a pocket handkerchief to a Smahl- 
bhut-Omy bush that grew near the spot. 

We had not proceeded many rods before Fritz, who 
was in advance of our little party, came rushing back 
shouting, " A crocodile, father, a crocodile ! " 

" Ha, ha ! " laughed Franz, " the idea of a land 
crocodile ! " 

I peremptorily ordered the boy to cease his idle 
gibing. " For the animal," I continued, " which your 
good brother Fritz has mistaken for a crocodile is no 
less than an Iguana, or gigantic lizard. And so your 
heedless laughter is ill-timed." 



We saw the animal fast asleep in the sun. Jack, 
snatching some salt out of my wife's bag, approached 
the Iguana. 

" Come back, my son ; the Iguana cannot be cap- 
tured in that manner. We must use gentler means." 
"Are you going to kiss it, father ? " asked Fritz 
with a grin. 

I tried to chide the boy for his impertinence, but, 
failing, I began operations on the Iguana. 

I bade my brave wife take her stand on the grassy 
mead and begin to dance, slowly at first, and then 
increasing in rapidity. Meanwhile I formed the rest 
of my dear family in a line, one behind the other, and 
told them to imitate my movements. Out of my wife's 
bag I took a trumpet, an accordion, a flute, and a 
triangle ; these I gave to Fritz, Jack, Ernest, and 
Franz respectively. This done, I placed myself at 
the head of the precioijs little party, and, adopting a 
quaint but graceful step, I approached the Iguana 
slowly, humming Sullivan's " Lost Chord " in a low, 
sweet voice. 

The animal moved uneasily in its slumber. Pleased 
with this symptom, I quickened my step and sang a 
chorus from Wagner's " Gotterdammrung." The 
animal relaxed its stern expression at the sweet 
melody, and was evidently dreaming about us. I 
again quickened my step, and drew nearer, singing 
" I arise from Dreams of Thee " to some music of my 



i6 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



own composition. This thoroughly aroused the ani- 
mal, who allowed a smile to play over its rugged fea- 




tures. Never have I beheld so affecting an expression 
as this poor beast betrayed. Changing the tune, I 
sang " Baby Mine." The Iguana was now showing 
signs of distress, and it was evident that the pathos 
of my melody aroused its sympathies. When " Baby 
Mine " was finished, summoning all my strength, I 
began " Empty is the Cradle, Baby 's gone." But it 
was too much. With a strong convulsion of grief 
the animal turned on its side and was overcome by 
choking sobs. Being assured that we had him now, 
I went up and dried his eyes, encouraging him to get 
up and walk ; but this was impossible, so we carried 
him away, and as we went the woods re-echoed to his 
wails. 

I was very glad to have been able to show this ex- 
periment to my dear children. 

" The power of music over savage natures," I said, 
" is very remarkable. I was once passing by the cage 
of a tiger, and happened to be singing rather sweetly. 
I heard a noise, and was just in time to elude the paw 
which the grateful animal had offered me." 

We now approached a large gray pile of granite, 
into which a cave led. " A capital place," I said, 
" to store gunpowder, should we discover any in the 
island." 

A gurgling brook ran down the rock, so I named it 



" Boilstone Cave." Inside we could see many sta- 
lactites hanging. Fritz, with his usual rashness, 
rushed in, and was immediately overcome by the 
blast of chemical mephitic air, which escaped from a 
side recess in the cave. "We must get it out, at any 
rate," I said. 

My brave wife immediately produced a dynamite 
bomb from her bag, and I handed it to my eldest son 
Fritz, bidding him go in and blow up the recess. 

" Is it not dangerous, father ? " he inquired. 

" Not at all, my son. I would do it myself, only I 
notice that your mother wants to show me something, 
and I cannot keep her waiting." 

As my son entered the cave and began arranging 
the bomb, and pouring water into the cup which was 
to hold it, I withdrew to a distance, and watched him 
with the affectionate zeal that only a father knows. 

Very soon a loud report was heard, and the dan- 
gerous mephitic cavern was no more. On my asking 
for Fritz, my brave wife produced him safe and sound 
from her miraculous bag, where he had been blown 
by the force of the explosion. With renewed thank- 
fulness we went to rest, ready to begin work on our 
tree home the next day. 



CHAPTER V. 

WE BUILD OUR HOUSE. — THE ZEBRA. — A SAIL. 

;UR next work was to 
create our aerial 
abode in the tree. 
We all joined very 
heartily in this, for 
we had been up 
trees before, in 
Switzerland, and 
were anxious to get 
up a tropical tree, 
and see if there was 
any difference. 

This one, which 
had attracted the 
notice of my wife 
by its unusual size and beauty, was many hundred 
feet high, and so large round that to measure its 
circumference made a pleasant morning stroll. I was, 
therefore, somewhat at a loss how to begin work ; 
for the trees I had been up before had not necessi- 
tated any knowledge of the art of climbing. So I 
stood before the colossal trunk and thought. 

Observing my anxious and careworn expression 
my brave wife approached me and said, " I think I 
can solve your problem." 




:',/'/;;; 



^ v> k) 



WE BUILD OUR HOUSE. 



l l 



" What pioblem do you think I am trying to solve?" 
I asked. 

" How to climb my tree," said she, smiling. 

I praised her for her keen penetration in divining 
what I was thinking about. " But how can you solve 
my problem ? " I continued sadly. 

" If you will set me upon a log and build a bonfire 
under me, the hot air will inflate my skirts, and I 
shall rise into the branches." 

" Your idea," I replied, as I fervently embraced my 
dear partner, " is admirable." 

In the mean while Ernest and Jack collected dry 
sticks and leaves, which they placed upon the back 
of our now affectionate and docile Iguana, and thus 
they were carried to a large log that lay conveniently 
beneath our proposed abode. My dear wife placed 
herself upon the log, when we were confronted with 
a new obstacle. 

Alas ! all our matches were gone. 

Fritz, whose ingenuity sometimes took forms which 
I could not approve of, immediately produced a bot- 
tle of the Julepa Attwoodiana from his leathern pouch, 
and, after having swallowed several mouthfuls, he 
blew upon the dry kindling, which instantly ignited 
and burned with a brilliant and beautiful flame. The 
light gauze skirts of my wife spread visibly. 

" Up in a balloon, boys !" shouted Fritz, whose 
hilarity after taking the Julepa was always most pain- 
ful to me. 

" Your impertinence," I replied coldly, " merits 
a . . ." . 

" Never mind his impertinence, father," cried Er- 
nest, rudely interrupting me. 

I turned to reprove him, when our Iguana, who, 
though tame and well meaning, was notwithstanding 
at times very awkward, rushed hurriedly between my 
legs. The result was that I tripped and fell heavily 
upon a plantation of prickly-pears, which covered the 
ground very abundantly at the foot of the tree. 

My children joined hands and danced about me, 
while I, seated upon the ground, menaced them an- 
grily. 

" I feel just like the Fourth of July ! " cried little 
Franz, jumping and clapping his hands. 

I rose, and was about to chastise him for his 
disrespect, when we were all stopped by hearing loud 
shrieks of triumph. 

We turned around. Our little bonfire had done its 
work, and we beheld the dear mother rising majesti- 
cally through the air. With that wise forethought 
which is one of her most invaluable qualities, she had 
taken her bag up with her, out of which ran a long 
string that was fastened tightly to a log that lay on 
the ground. She soon reached the branches, which 
she caught hold of. 



"Let's play she's a kite, and fly her!" cried 
Fritz, making for the string. 

I hastened after him to prevent such conduct, but 
his dear mother was quite equal to the occasion. 
Just as lie caught hold of the string, she gave it a 
sudden jerk which brought the anchoring log up from 
the ground and seated Fritz quickly upon it. Thus 
she held him dangling in the air, till he was thor- 
oughly frightened, and begged to be forgiven and let 
down. 

As I always encouraged any spirit of repentance 
that my children showed after misbehaving, I readily 
forgave him, and our work went on. My wife pro- 
duced a derrick from her bag, and also a number of 
other useful things for building, such as bricks, mor- 
tar, and ladders. We all went heartily about our 
various duties, and a scaffolding was soon completed. 
My wife laid the foundations, and built the house, 
assisted by Fritz. Jack and Franz carried mud, 
timber, and stones up to them ; Ernest painted and 
decorated the interior, while I, seated in a chair below 
anxiously superintended operations. In less than a 
month our new mansion was complete. Nor did it 
need protection from the fierce tropical sun, for the 
season had advanced, and a beautiful leafy screen 
sheltered us all. 

We began to think of a name to call our house. 
Ernest, with his usual inimitable humor, suggested 
The Family Tree, which was unanimously adopted 
amid shouts of applause. 

It was an ample house, with a cellar in the main 
trunk of the tree, and three entrances, in case we 
should be in a hurry to get in or out. We had six 
spare bedrooms in case of visitors ; gas and hot 
water on every story ; an elevator ; chemical fire- 
extinguishers (furnished from the Boilstone Cave) ; a 
library, dining and sitting rooms ; and frieze and 
dadoes in every apartment, of colors suited to its 
special character. There was a telephone, a phono- 
graph, and an electric bell in every room. The last 
touch was finished on a Saturday night, and the next 
day being Sunday, we all took a rest, which was 
very grateful. Not having any church to attend, 
I read my family selections from my unpublished 
poems, which affected them very much. As evening 
drew on, we all set about various occupations. 

I had observed that Fritz had a special place where 
he kept his bottle of Julepa Attwoodiana, and, having 
determined that it was not good for him to pay too 
much attention to such things, I procured it for 
myself, and retired to the top of the tree where I felt 
that my meditations would be undisturbed by the 
noisy play of my children. Here beneath the starry 
firmament, I took gastronomical observations. 

The calm stillness was presently broken by my son 



i8 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



tj. . /Vl, '' tV ^ (TTV- G ^- <£, 




:S;IKi3« 



THE FAMILY TREK. 



THE ZEBRA — AN ARRIVAL. 



19 



Fritz, who, seated upon a lower limb of a tree, played 
us sweet household melodies on an upright piano 
that he had found in a corner of my wife's bag.. Ernest, 
inspired by the music, climbed up on another limb, 
a little higher, and" composed poetry, parts of which 
he occasionally recited aloud. 

My wife, never forgetful of her household duties, 
after having washed our clothes, fed a young canary 
we had caught a few days before. 

Jack, in order to test the strength of our new stair- 
case, conscientiously walked up and down upon it, 
while my little Franz had a nice gay game of hide- 
and-go-seek at the bottom of the tree with our pet 
Iguana, who had become most useful in keeping the 
child in good spirits by means of many merry pranks 
of a wholesome and harmless nature. 

As I looked down, and beheld through glimpses 
in the rich tropical foliage of our Family Tree my 
precious little brood thus happily occupied, I fre- 
quently gave shouts of joy, in the midst of my gastro- 
nomical observations. And as I had made quite a 
number by this time, I concluded I would take a walk 
in the jungle. So I descended, and, after having filled 
my son Fritz's bottle of Julepa Attwoodiana with 
some cool fresh water from a neighboring spring, I re- 
placed it in the spot where I took it from, and con- 
tinued my way. 

I had not gone more than a mile before I heard a 
strange cry, and, on looking about me, I perceived it 
came from a fine specimen of the Wild Jackass. 

I felt I had made a great discovery. For this 
animal, if tamed and trained for our service, would be 
much more useful in carrying burdens for us than 
our Iguana, however well meaning, had hitherto been, 
since the latter had a habit of rolling over on his 
back, and di.is he had indulged in several times when 
laden with ostrich eggs we had collected after a hard 
day's work. 

How was I to secure the Jackass ? 
I hurriedly climbed a low tree near by, and, aware 
of the great curiosity that wild animals will exhibit, I 
struck my watch (a Geneva repeater) several times. 
The brute ceased grazing and pricked up his ears. I 
continued striking my watch, and he began to move 
towards the place the sound came from. Soon he 
was beneath the tree in which! had concealed myself, 
when I suddenly let go, and landed upon his back. 

Extreme surprise rendered the animal perfectly 
docile, and he walked off quietly with me upon him. 
I had heard travellers tell of the treachery of Wild 
Jackasses, and had often noticed that the infallible 
process to tame them was to bite their long and tender 
ears. So I gently leaned forward, and, encouraging the 
animal with my voice, I seized his right ear in my 
teeth, and bit it until the blood ran. It was but the 




'taming a jackass. 



work of a moment. Contrary to my expectations, he 
kicked violently, and ran way so rapidly that I was 
unable to follow him. 

/\fter recovering from the surprise his action had 
occasioned me, I concluded I would not speak of this 
adventure to my family for fear they should be tempted 
to try the same experiment. As I was revolving how 
I should explain the appearance of my right eye, all 
thoughts were driven out of my head by the appear- 
ance of a steamship on the horizon. 



CHAPTER VI. 

THE ARRIVAL. — OUR VISITORS. — THE ANACONDA. 

^OR some moments 
the appearance of 
the steamship rivet- 
ed me to the spot. 
Never very strong, 
my nerves, of late so 
much tried by our 
tropical life and the 
dangers it brought, 
gave way sudden- 
ly, and I sat down 
on the ground and 
., & T uZ/'t"'? c C cc ^ shook. The colos- 
t^J^^JaZj^Ufc! -^ sal and stately vessel 

came up the horizon so rapidly, that I grew out of 
breath watching it. I thought of my dear wife ; of 
my sweet young brood, that we had reared between 
us ; and as the boat came nearer and nearer, I wept 
very plentifully. The night, however, which always 
comes very suddenly in the tropics, set in even more 




THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 




THE FOREIGN VISITORS. 



rapidly than usual this calm evening. The blood-red 
sun, which we had all contemplated with joy and ad- 
miration from our family tree-top, as its shining orb 
hovered above the water-line, loth to sink to rest, 
suddenly sank out of sight. The stars all rushed out 
and shone with a brilliancy that again moved me to 
tears. When I had recovered sufficiently to rise from 
the ground, which was getting damp, I pursued my 
way back through the forest 'to our home, where all 
now were silent in innocent and happy sleep. I 
climbed the stairs so rapidly that I fell down again, 
and had to repeat the operation of going up again, 
though most reluctantly. The noise I made awoke 
Ernest, who was always a light sleeper, and he asked 
me what was the matter. 

"Your curiosity," I said as I brushed my hat, "is 
strangely ill-limed. Hand me the air-pistol at once, 
and do not stop to load it ! " . 

The boy obeyed, and I hastily climbed to the high- 
est branch, where, but a few hours since, I had made 
mygastronomical observations. I loaded the weapon 
as" I went, putting in a double charge. Seating 
myself so that the recoil could not cause me incon- 
venience, 1 fired three signals of distress, waved my 
hat, and fell to the ground. Thinking I had better 
not attempt a second ascent, I told Ernest to climb 
up and look out to sea. 

Ere the young lad had well reached the position 1 



had so lately occupied, a return signal from the water 
thundered through the night air. 

"We are saved," I said thankfully, and began to 
awake my family. With the exception of Ernest, 
they all slept very soundly, and I found, the most ex- 
peditious as well as most pleasant way of recalling 
them to their senses was to empty gently over them 
the pure spring water contained in our gourds. 

Smiling with delight, they asked me why I seemed 
so happy. 

" Come and see for yourselves," I replied. 
" No. father, tell us," said little Franz. 
" That which is worth knowing," I answered, "is 
worth taking trouble to find out for one's self ; climb 
up to the top, my son, and your energy will be its own 
reward." 

But my lesson to the little fellow was frustrated by 
joyful cries from Ernest. " O, father ! A great big 
ship ! and it has anchored in the bay." 

"A ship?" asked my brave wife, as she hurried 
out of her apartment. 

" A dressing-gown," I answered, gravely, " is no 
proper apparel for a tree-top, even at night. Go in 
and put on your best clothes, and I will answer any 
reasonable questions." 

Abashed by my remark, my wife hurried back to 
her apartment. Erelong my whole clear family was 
about me, eager to take the long-disused water-veloci- 



OUR FOREIGN VISITORS. 



21 



pedes, and go to the steamer. But daylight was now 
breaking. 

"Your idea," I said, "is not worth carrying out. 
Patience, when properly exercised, often saves many 
tiresome efforts. The crew of yonder vessel are now 
putting out for the shore in several little boats, which, 
if you use a glass, you will readily see." 

We all watched their movements with interest. 

" What if they should be enemies, father ? " asked 
Ernest. 

"Your remark," I observed, "shows thought. In 
that case, we will retire to the Boilstone Cave, and 
with the chemicals there compound odors that would 
keep any foe at a distance." 

"They're friends, father!" cried Jack, joyfully; 
and our eyes grew dim as the English flag went up 
and floated proudly from the mainmast. 

Delay being no longer advisable, we all hurried 
down stairs. 

"Take care," I said. "The more haste, the less 
speed. The longest way round is often the shortest 
way home. Pride goes before a . . . . " 

A large root, which was concealed in the long grass 
through which we were now hastening, caught the 
extreme end of my foot, most unfortunately. The 
nearest object to grasp was the long black hair of 
my dear wife, which floated behind her as she ran. 
" Self-preservation," I said, as I took hold of it, " is 
the first law of existence." 

The shock was so sudden, however, that my wife 
tottered, and in endeavoring to save herself, very nat- 
urally, she threw her bag round Fritz's neck. But 
instead of standing straight, and thus saving our fall, 
he clumsily got entangled in the folds of the bag, and 
we all came down together, — so rapidly, that Ernest, 
Jack, and Franz, who were hurrying along immedi- 
ately behind us, toppled over our prostrate bodies, 
together with the pet Iguana, whose inability to turn 
rapid!; is a trait which it shares in common with the 
Alligator and the Crocodile. 

We then held a consultation. 

" If any of you had listened to my warning about 
haste," I said, '' we should not have come to grief." 

" lint, father," said Jack, " you were the first to trip." 

" This is no time for hair-splitting," I said severely. 
" It is clear that, if we proceed to the shore in such a 
crowd we shall interfere with each other. Let all of 
you, except Franz and myself, make ready a lunch 
beneath some large tree ; he and I will proceed to 
the shore and meet the strangers. Should they be 
hostile, Franz's tender age will move them." 

We proceeded to the shore, and arrived just in time 
to witness the travellers step upon the beach. 

With a courteous but dignified attitude, I spoke : 
" Gentlemen, you have come to visit us to-day, no 



doubt curious to see the lions of our island. We are 
glad to see you, and to extend the hand of our Re- 
public to you. If your ancestors ever had anything 
to do with it, they would be as proud of the present 
moment as I am." 

"We are vera much honored, sare, wid your 
politesse and complaisance. I have the pleasure to 
make myself known to you, — Monsieur Teatre." 

I shook the gentleman's hand, and he proceeded 
to introduce the other distinguished guests. I ex- 
changed mild and bland greetings with Monsieur de 
al Row-sham-bow, who pulls a very good oar in pne 
of the crews, with Count Von Apollinaris, with the 
Marquis of Hunyadi-Janos, and many other distin- 
guished characters. 

We then adjourned to lunch, where my dear wife 
acquitted herself nearly as well as I had done. 

" If there is anything you do not see, do not ask 
for it," I said to the Marquis of Hunyadi-Janos, who, 
not understanding the language, turned to Baron 
Friderickshall for an explanation. After the banquet, 
each of my dear children took several of the visitors, 
and we proceeded to entertain them with the historical 
sights of our island. 

" C'est le cavede Boilstone," said Fritz, who spoke 
French with fluency. 

" Thanks. I did n't take chemistry," replied Colo- 
nel Hap, who, with his daughter, Miss Hap, was 
among our Australian guests. Here the conversation 
became general. 

"Ah, Monsieur," I smiled, "was you ever to . . . ." 
"The battle of Bunker Hill reminds me of . . . ." 
" Martha Washington, who never liked . . . ." 
" Our pet Iguana, when he feeds on yams and . . . ." 
" Schnapps, from Potsdam, so ' gut und gar 
nicht . . . ." 

" Plymouth Rock in a storm with . . . ." 
"A paper collar that always betrays . . . ." 
" Humility which I have inculcated in my children 
from . . . ." 

"The gymnasium, where Sarah Bernhardt said 
that she 'd . . . ." 

" Never leave me alone in the tree to take gaslro- 
nomical observations." 

Our merry party strayed away through the trees, 
well pleased with the island. Miss Hap, an ideally 
sweet girl, with large round eyes, and great ringlets 
of close curls, showed some rashness in wandering 
away alone. Indeed, it was most fortunate that my 
eldest son, Fritz, an ardent youth, followed her steps 
from a distance, for as she entered the jungle a 
large Anaconda sprang at her. 

The intrepid girl opened her parasol at the animal, 
who hesitated for a moment, dazzled by the brilliancv 
of the pattern, and then began to swallow it. 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 




w^m^^m^. 



MISS IIAP WITH THE ANACONDA. 

Miss Hap, bound not to give up her property with- 
out a struggle, braced her foot against a stone, and 
tugged. The contest, however, might have proved a 
doubtful one, when Fritz, hurrying up with the air- 
pistol, shot the serpent in the head. 

It fell lifeless to the ground, and the grateful girl, 
turning to her preserver with moist eyes, smiled a 
smile so full of sweetness, (as my son afterwards 
informed me,) that Fritz sank into a misty, happy 
dream, (these were his own words,) and together 
the two wandered through the jungle under the soft 
heat of the sunlight as it came through the thick 
foliage. 



CHAPTER VII; 

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE. 

REJOICED greatly in 
the happy advent of the 
foreign visitors. They 
were indeed a pleasant 
break in our little fami- 
ly circle ; a circle which, 
though very sweet and 
dear to me, I had some- 
times felt might grow 
in many years to have 
an element of sameness 
about it. 

The winter began to 
draw on, and we made 
several little colonies : 
one in the Boilstone 
Cave ; one in a neighboring island, which Ernest had 
ingeniously christened Snark Island ; and several 




other equally desirable and agreeable settlements. 
Every one was happy and contented. 

Many wondrous tales were told or read in turn by 
the boys and Miss Hap during the long evenings. 
And when these grew too exciting for healthful imagi- 
nations, I would chasten the merriment by reciting 
parts of my private journal, which caused them to 
think so deeply that after a few sentences they often 
retired to their rooms to ponder until morning. 

In the early part of the autumn we had hung up 
the skin of Fritz's Anaconda to dry. Fastened to a 
stout limb of our family tree, it became a portentous 
ornament. But a misfortune which happened to the 
Marquis of Hunyadi-Janos shortly afterwards warned 
us to stuff the huge cuticle of the tropical monster. 

Returning home from a soiree on Snark Isl?nd late 
one night, the Marquis had occasion to step along 
the limb from which depended the serpent. Just as 
he approached the animal, his foot slipped, and he 
was precipitated down into the cavernous jaws. 

I was just in my first sleep when I was startled by 
a cry. " Sacre 1 tonnere ! Norn de chien ! Ah ! " 
and the sounds became muffled. 

I awoke my dear wife and earnestly requested her 
to listen. 

" A moi ! a moi ! Help ! I am perdu ! Swallowed 
tout a fait!" 

" Let us hasten ! " said my wife springing up. 

"Rashness," I observed, firmly detaining her with 
one hand, while with the other I emphasized my re- 
marks, " is ever a quality to be eschewed, — especially 
after dark. If the gentleman is (as he says himself) 
swallowed, we can sorrow for him in the morning." 

" A moi ! a moi ! " 

" Father, father ! " cried little Franz, " the Mar- 
quis of Hunyadi-Janos has tumbled down the Ana- 
conda ! " 

" Misfortune," I replied, "may happen to any one, 
and instead of allowing excitement to get the better 
of us, we should rather be thankful fw-eur own pres- 
ervation." 

Notwithstanding, I complied with the lad's wish, 
and lighted a candle. Meanwhile, the cries of the 
Marquis had summoned quite a little gathering. He 
had fallen completely to the end of the serpent, as 
was now made evident by the somewhat violent agi- 
tations of the animal's tail. 

"Get me out!" shrieked the voice inside. "Je 
meurs ! " 

" Courage, -mon ami ! " I said cheerily, as I did a 
little light shivering; for pajamas are not a sufficient 
protection in the rainy season. 

After some trouble we persuaded the Iguana to 
bite a hole in the Anaconda's tail, through which we 



STUFFING THE ANACONDA. 



23 




THE WEDDING. 



drew out the unlucky Marquis. He thanked us 
warmly, and withdrew to his room. 

This event decided us, and on the morrow we be- 
gan to stuff the serpent. We found this no light task. 
After emptying into the cavern five tons of hay, 
which my brave wife gave us from her bag, we con- 
cluded that operations must go faster. So *e con- 
structed a derrick in combination with a pile-driver; 
and in three weeks, by aid of these powerful engines, 
we had emptied two granite quarries, all the sea-weed 
about Snark Island, and the wardrobe of our wrecked 
vessel into the skin, and had the gratification of see- 
ing as fine a specimen for a zoological collection as 
any one could wish. 

I immediately built a- museum in a rock, where the 
presence of more mephitic air induced Ernest with 
his usual wit to christen the building " A Gassy Mu- 
seum." 

Here we put specimens of all sorts, and here little 
Franz, who to my great joy was developing a fine taste 
for Natural History, passed many a long hour, picking 
out the eyes of lobsters, and watching the heart-pul- 
sations of the oyster and the clam. 

Thus passed nearly a year. 



Fritz, whose attachment to Miss Hap was becoming 
very evident, acquainted me of the fact one day in the 
spring, with many blushes. I rejoiced at the pros- 
pect of a permanent settlement in our dear island, and, 
as Colonel Hap professed himself equally pleased, 
arrangements were made for a speedy marriage. 

" Und was werde the object sein of here living?" 
asked Count Von Apollinaris, whose ideas flowed 
freely, and mixed readily with any subject. 

" I confess," I replied, " that the study of nature is 
the only one possible." 

" And do not you desire your children to have 
a liberal education ? " asked Colonel Hap : •' we 
need a University here." 

" Ja, a gymnasium, as in Deutschland ! " continued 
Apollinaris. 

" Your idea, gentlemen," I answered, " speaks well 
for you. We will found one at once, and educate my 
younger children, and the crews of your ship." 

"We should have a commencement to begin 
with," said Colonel Hap. 

" No, no, papa ! '' said Miss Hap ; "let us have a 
Class Dav, and Fritz and I will be married then \ " 

I approved of the plan, and kissed my future 



24 



THE NEW SWISS FAMILY ROBINSON. 



daugliter-in-Iaw on the forehead, which would have 
pleased her, had she not been preoccupied at the 
moment. 

All was arranged in a satisfactory manner. 

On account of my admirable qualifications for the 
situation, I was unanimously chosen President of 
the University. With a view to this position I had 
prepared a set of subscription books and a report. 
My dear wife was obviously best qualified for Secre- 
tary. So we built a railing, neat and strong, around 
her, and provided her with paper, pens, ink, and 
many large books. 

Count Apollinaris disappeared for some days. On 
his return he brought something carefully covered 
up in canvas. On taking this covering off, he dis- 
played to us a most ingenious apparatus. An index 
needle, moving on a pivot dependent on two con- 
centric circles made of galvanized German silver, 
pointed to a graded crescent of the same metal. 
The degrees ranged from — 33I to 33. The whole 
was regulated by the formula 

x i -f 2 xy -f y * = {x -\-yY- 

This, in combination with factorial n, made the first 
factor of an expression, in which the second was w, 
representing weight or difficulty, and the third was /, 
representing Time, not less than one, and not greater 
than three hours. 

A sensitized plate was suspended by many yards 
of the strongest red tape over a fire-pan. Connected 
with this plate was a balance that fed a cog-wheel 
which regulated the two concentric circles before 
spoken of. A lever throwing iv or t into opera- 
tion, connected with an escapement united to the 
x- -f- 2xy-\-y 2 bar, was practicable for the thumb 
and forefinger. Any blue-book that needed valuation 
was burned up in the fire-pan. Its quality was deter- 
mined by the lever. The flames heated the sensitized 
plate which communicated the quality of the blue- 
book expressed in terms of heat to the needle, which 
immediately pointed to the correct ' mark, — never 
exceeding 33, nor less than — 33J. 

We shed happy tears over this triumph of mechan- 
ical skill, and I appointed Von Apollinaris Professor 
of German at once. 

The weeks passed, and the happy day dawned. 

I regretted that the rough life which my son Fritz 
had been learling had left its marks upon his dress- 
coat. But Miss Hap kindly said that he would be 
presentable to her in any costume whatever. 

My dear wife, who was much admired by the for- 
eigners, made a beautiful cloak of skins for herself, 
which became her admirably. 

The Marquis of Hunyadi-Janos hail been quite 
marked in his attentions to her, but I assured him, 




if he wished to take her away with him, he would 
find that she preferred me to him. 

" Though my spirit of unselfishness," I continued, 
" forbids my throwing any obstacle in the way of such 
a plan, I cannot reckon without my wife, as it takes 
two to make a bargain." 

We smiled pleasantly, and shook hands. 

The marriage was very affecting. The tropical 
foliage drooped in every direction. Lanterns hung in 
the foliage, invisible until night permitted them to 
display their gay colors. 

Crowds of visitors witnessed the ceremony. As 
the wedding march rang blandly, grandly, through the 
glad banyan-trees, the people formed into a long pro- 
cession, which, headed by the brass band, wound in 
and out of the shrubbery, till it seemed to me that I 
saw three processions instead of one. 

The ship's chaplain read the service. Colonel Hap 
standing near his daughter, and my dear wife seated 
close by, dissolved in tears of happiness and grati- 
tude. 

" Who giveth this woman away ? " 

" I can . . . er . . . that is ... I do," said 
Colonel Hap, hurriedly, while the enchanted specta- 
tors sang the Class Day song, composed expressly for 
the occasion, — poetry by Ernest, whose facile pen 
could accomplish nearly anything, and music by Fritz, 
who had passed the winter at his upright piano, play- 
ing duets with Miss Hap. 

When the ceremony was completed, with loud 
cheers wc joined hands and danced round the nod- 
ding trees. After this we went to the banquet, where 
we found that the Iguana, taking advantage of the 
fact that general attention was diverted from himself, 
had eaten up a large quantity of the wedding cake. 
His imprudence caus-ed him a good deal of pain later 
in the evening. 



AFTER THE WEDDING. 



25 



I made an appropriate speech. " The fact of the 
wedding cake being gone," I said, smilingly, •' matters 
very little indeed, since we have the Julepa Attwood- 
iana in large quantities." 

" Hear ! hear ! " shouted many voices, while they 
raised their glasses, and made them touch with a 
musical ring, which so expressively denotes a joyful 
unanimity of sentiment. 

" Let us drink to the success of the College — Uni- 
versity I mean." 

" Hear ! hear ! " 

And the unanimity with which we clinked the 
glasses reduced us to using gourds for the remaining 
toasts. 

" Long life to the young couple ! " 

" Hear ! hear ! " 

Then began a series of toasts. 

" Three cheers for the chaplain who married us ! " 
said Fritz. 



Loud cheering rent the air. 

" Three cheers for my dear father, the President ! " 

The cheers seemed to diminish in their intensity ; 
so, thinking that our guests were (not unnaturally) 
fatigued, I rose, and our pleasant party broke up. 

We proceeded to the Family Tree, where a large 
fire was kindled, and suddenly a loud report rent the 
air, and our foliaged home was no more. 

The President's Report had blown it up ! 
* • » * * 

The night has closed around me. I am feeling very 
well, and as my dear children go on their honeymoon 
to-morrow, I close this journal of our dangers and our 
joys, and send it with them, that others in the great 
world may know of our life, and sorrow and rejoice 
with its vicissitudes. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



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